July 25, 2010

10 Ways to Win Your Bachelor

All those TV reality-dating shows cast model-type gals or guys. However, as statistics of who actually are still together after the taping prove, good looks and romance do not lead to "in sickness or in health".

And as real life has shown, you don’t have to be a beauty queen or the cheerleader type to catch the eye of the dashing Romeo who you think is out of your league.

Faithful men know beauty is skin deep and what matters in the long term is character. Doesn’t this sound so old-fashioned?

Here are some of the ways you can catch the man of your dreams:

Always play hard to get, just a little bit, not standoffish, but not Britney Spears either. If you are easy to begin with, despite what you say au contraire, you probably are easy with others as well. We may be living in the 21st century but men are inherently born to do the chasing.

And if you wait after for you know what - you will see the real He and perhaps increase the likelihood he will get down the right way the first and only time.

A man looks at how you treat the less fortunate, and how you respond to his family. A principled man will observe and see what kind of girl you are, based on your acts of kindness and compassion to the poor, the lost, and the needy.

Believe it or not, to a certain extent you will be marrying to his family. A son has a very strong loyalty to his mom and dad. In fact, a good number of men look for traits they see in their mom. In this case, it helps to really know your future mother-in-law. Is she a good cook? Then you better be one, which leads us to

It is true - a man’s heart is through his tummy. A man looking for a wife sees beyond sex. He envisions family, home and children in the dining table, his little kingdom so to speak. The greatest physical urge is hunger and if you can satisfy him in this area, you have made it to first base. Have you ever wondered why most restaurant chefs are men?

Never make the proposal – one major turn off is when the girl mentions first the E or M words. Every guy wants to be the knight down to his knees. There is a tremendous emotional rush in proposing to a girl and if He is pre-empted, a man feels like a deflated balloon.

Never badmouth the competition – this is a sign of a jealous character. Who wants to live with an insecure nagging individual? Que sera, sera!

Never talk of material ambitions. Are you into yourself? Are you high maintenance? Is it me that you love or is it my money? Remember Joe Millionaire.

Do not utter unutterrables. Ugh, the gutter mouth is a big turn off. A man is always gauging your values. This means a good guy marries a good girl, and a vain brat gets to marry a vain brat. You marry your own kind.

Do control yours tears, think Meryl Streep, and do not be an emotional wreck like Pamela Anderson. A man likes to think he is the protector, of a sane stable person, not a mental basket. If you are one, then try to resolve this before marriage.

Do not physically and/or emotionally cling. Many newly married men complain their wives want to be with them all the time. He needs his space, so do you. The more you lead your own life, the more attractive you will be.

Most importantly, be a friend, not a lover. Eventually the make-up has to be undone, wrinkles will appear, the fat bubbles up, and all those irritating personal habits present themselves as take-it or ignore-it. If you are a confidant, people will like and long to be with you. Just think of your buddies right now.

Of course, your dating behavior might be different from your normal self. The solution: have as many “real” dates like studying together, cleaning the garage (yes, the garage!), joining his family for an outing, instead of the romantic stuff like a movie date, candlelight dinner or a sybaritic week in Cancun. After all, living together has more of the real stuff. Don’t you agree?

Any comments, e-mail writetojosephlopez@yahoo.com

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